God willing...at last

When I crawled out of bed this morning, the house was quiet and a cup of coffee was calling my name.  After filling my favorite mug, I grabbed my Bible, and headed for a quiet corner in the living room.

I'm not currently in a Bible study, so I didn't really know where to begin.  As I thumbed through 2,300+ pages, I quickly settled on Romans.

Romans 1:10 really spoke to me: "One of the things I always pray for is the opportunity, God willing, to come at last to see you."  

It struck me that Paul always prayed for this same thing, yet hadn't grown tired or hopeless.  And I love how "God willing...at last" almost sounds desperate - at least it does the way I read it. 

Boy can I relate to praying for the same things... often in desperation.  Pleading.

First I thought of fostering/adoption, and missions work.  It's been on my heart since I was a little girl, but it's not yet been a call on our family. 

Then I thought of my son.

And then I thought about a conversation I had Monday night with my friend who prays every night with her daughters that they won't have bad dreams.  Yet, the bad dreams come anyway.

As I thought about Paul, prayerful in his desires to one day go to Rome, his story came to mind.  He did eventually make it to Rome, but he arrived as a prisoner.  He'd prayed for safe travels, and did arrive safely ... but only after getting arrested, slapped in the face, shipwrecked, and bitten by a poisonous snake.

Talk about hiccups along the way!

I'm reminded that God does answer prayer, He just doesn't generally do so in our timing, nor does he do so in exact compliance what what we had in mind.

My thoughts return to my son.  My son who sometimes cries out, asking WHEN WILL IT BE EASIER?  The son who will one day be on the other side of things, saying to another little person, I know what it is to be scared, intimidated and insecure sometimes.  I know what it is to be a bit quirky.  I know what it is to get overwhelmed.  I know what it is to be sick of doctors appointments and frustrated with your body.  I know what it is to have to work hard at things that seem so easy for others.  And I know what it is to wait on answers to prayer...  Hang in there.  God is listening.  He has a plan.  God willing ... at last, things will work out.