These last few days have been very busy...too busy to deal with some unwanted news that we received on Wednesday. In the moment, I had assignments to complete, two quizzes to study for and a class to get to that evening. No time to deal with the news. I had a huge exam on Thursday that took all day to prepare for, and small group immediately upon finishing the exam. Still, no time to deal with the news and how it left me feeling.
That night, our small group discussion centered on prayer.
Frankly, Wednesday's news threw me for a loop and prayer was something I just couldn't muster up the energy for. In part... I couldn't pray because I was so frustrated, exhausted and fed up by the news. I went to group, heard the topic and immediately felt like bursting into tears. Eventually... I did. The group was so warm and receptive; and, not so ironically, we paused in the middle of our discussion for prayer.
While the group was able to pray for me, I still could not talk about it very easily; let alone pray.
If I'm being completely honest... I like to give the silent treatment.
The following day, my most amazing friend called me from Salt Lake City. She never calls on Fridays; Tuesdays are our phone-date days. She said she'd been driving along, praying for me, and felt prompted to call. She asked how I was (fine), then what I was doing (sending an email), then how I was again. How on earth did she know? I burst into tears...and again...while I was still completely unable to pray, she did it for me. And she cried too - I am so grateful for friends who help me cry.
I am constantly amazed by the Lord's provision. For many years He has provided abundantly for our every physical need and -- here I am, giving Him the silent treatment -- and He provides friends, two days in a row, who prayed when I simply could not. I deserved a time out and instead He blessed me with incredibly wonderful friends who helped me find my voice and sent me back to my Heavenly Father.
Wow. God is so gracious and merciful. I am so grateful for his gentleness and patience. He must want to shake me at times.