Integrity in spite of it all

Zach experienced something not so great today... Someone that he sees regularly and looks up to as a role model sent us notification in early November that she would be leaving around the middle of 2010. She said then that she was committed to seeing her work through to the end, but left unexpectedly only eight weeks later.

We received a note this morning saying that today would be her last day. When we told Zach, he immediately replied with, "I need to go see her and say goodbye and thank you!" I called ahead to see if she would be available today, only to be told that she was already gone.

Zach was disappointed. He asked to draw her a picture and send her a note. He knows that a lot of people were unhappy with her for decisions she'd made in the recent past. He knows that from their point-of-view she'd made a lot of messes and didn't earn their respect or compassion... But he cared for her anyway.

Even though she left without saying good luck or good bye, with little explanation and a completely inaccurate time line, his feelings for her are unchanged. She was always warm and kind. Her position commanded respect, and respect he eagerly gave. And, likely, the biggest factor... She is one of God's children. God would want Zach to love her regardless.

We really do not know why she left. Her November correspondence said something about it being in the best interest of everyone involved, so we're assuming no one is ill or urgently required her time and attention.

As I struggled with her apparent abandonment of all responsibilities, I was upset over the poor example she was setting. However, Zachary was not. He is full of grace and mercy and wishes her only the best. He knows that whatever the reasons, it's not our business and life will go on.

I pray that the pains of this world, the disappointments, hypocrisy, unfulfilled promises, and bad examples will do nothing to deter the character and integrity of my young sons. Zach inspires me to be a better person. As he cared in the face of my fretting, I asked myself... "Who am I when no one is watching? Who am I, truly?" I want to be more like Zach.