Tuesday, October 27, 2009


This year has brought about a considerable change in my appearance. The first was the most noticeable - I changed my hair color. Instead of highlighting it with shades of blond and copper every 12 weeks, I decided to dye it back to my natural brown. I hadn't seen my natural hair color since I picked up my first bottle of Sun-In when I was about nine years old. I was curious to see what it would look like and I was tired of the highlighting expense and efforts.

I also started growing it long, instead of constantly maintaining my cute wedge with monthly haircuts. Again, I was tired of the expense and effort.

Most recently, I even gave up my blow dryer and straight iron! My hair is naturally wavy, so I decided to stop fighting its natural tendency and picked up a curling iron to work with it.

Surprisingly, I have found that all the effort and expense of altering my appearance left me with something less appealing than what I was born with. I look and feel better with brown wavy hair.

The other thing is my face... I started taking Accutane in March. Accutane is working wonders for me and allowing me to scale back on the frequency and amount of make-up that I wear. This time last year, I would only have left my house without make-up if the house was on fire!! These days I'd go anywhere without it. I could write entire posts about how much Accutane has changed how I look and feel... But, for now, I will just sum it up by saying that I frequently wonder how I could share the fabulous benefits of Accutane with complete strangers who are suffering from acne. It is that good.

So... As I've gone through this back-to-basics all-natural approach to my appearance, I've seen a parallel to my life. In all things, God knows what he's doing. He was right about my appearance, and I wasted time, money and emotion trying to get a different look. He also knows what he's doing with me. With my life, marriage, kids, family, finances, social status... I'm wasting time, money and emotion every time I cover up who I really am and try to be something else for others. I am losing the potential for sincere friendships when I pretend to be something I'm not or withdraw out of insecurity. Just as I found with my physical appearance, the pretend me is less appealing than the me God designed me to be! There is a high cost to being inauthentic.

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14

1 comment:

Leslie Meador said...

Tonya - your beautiful. Simply beautiful. I know we dont get to chat too much these days, but I must say that I really appreciate your authenticity - and you're right - we are all more appealing - inside and out - when we leave things how GOD designed them - even when they have what we perceive as flaws. Thanks for being the beautiful you ... and being real.