He's a KID now!

When my husband was a child, there was an exact moment when he became "a kid".  This was on his 4th birthday.  The.  Big.  Day.

And now, that big day has happened in the lives of every member of our family.  Luke turned four yesterday.

A.  Kid.  He's a kid now!

He had art parties...

One in the morning with a few little friends.  We painted birdhouses and made tissue paper dinosaurs, and iced our own cupcakes.  (Take that, Cake Boss!) 

 

And one in the evening with family.  We iced our own cupcakes again, and also worked on a "mural" that all of our party guests were invited to help with.

The cousins spent a lot of time playing up in the boys' bedroom.  I peeked in, and this is what I found.

All he wanted for his birthday was "art stuff".

Wish granted.  No shortage of art stuff around here.

He had a wonderful birthday.  The parties celebrated him completely!  He's funny, creative, and loves to have a lot of people around.

Luke, you are a blessing beyond our wildest imaginations.  You are hysterically funny.  Yours is a God-given sense of humor, with perfect comedic timing and a sharp wit.  You delight in sitting with paper and something to create with.  You paint slowly, with detail and precision in mind always.  You are an artist, without question.  You are one FUN kid.  Happy birthday to the most amazing four year old we know!  We love you.  Welcome to KIDhood.

Twenty minutes

This is what greets me just 20 minutes from my house.

And this.

I lived in Florida for six years while in my 20's. I missed this. Every. Single. Day.

There's no place like home.

The honor of an invitation

I am studying the book of Ruth this summer. More than a week has passed since studying Ruth 2:14 and comparing it with 2 Samuel 9:1-12, and I just can't stop thinking about it.

Ruth, a widowed woman, a foreigner of enemy ethnicity, has been invited to eat with Boaz, a highly powerful and well-respected man who owns the fields she's been working in. To compare to modern day, this would be like dining with royalty!

In 2 Samuel, King David extended a similar invitation to Mephibosheth, the crippled son of his beloved friend Jonathan...but also the grandson of King Saul who tried to kill him. And David invited him to sit at his dinner table - for the rest of his life, after having returned all of his family's property to him! Again, dining with royalty.

This leads to the question... What is more valuing than being invited to someone's table?

As I reflect on various dinner invitations, meals provided for us, and a week-long stay in our friends' home, I am reminded of (and overwhelmed by) the generosity and incredible thoughtfulness that went into the arrangements. Meal preparations, cleaning the house, the expense, foods picked specifically for us, sleeping arrangements.

A couple of years ago we stayed with friends for a week while on vacation. They gave us their master bedroom (while they slept in the basement). They assembled a crib for Luke, and their children selected their favorite toys to put in the guest room for Zach. They loaned us their van. They grocery shopped in anticipation of our arrival - buying all the kids' favorite foods and snacks! They provided car seats and a stroller for our use during the week. Could they have been anymore thoughtful or generous?

Many other friends have gifted us with tremendous blessings that have not been on such a big, week-long, completely-invading-their-life scale. What immediately comes to mind are meals provided after Luke was born. Kim brought an enormous, should-have-been-on-a-buffet-table fruit platter. And dinner too! She knows how much I love fruit, and I'm pretty sure she brought me one of every fruit she could find. And Shawnda brought us an amazing strawberry cream cake that is one of my favorites (and no cinch to make). And Kathi brought a simple bag of cherries (probably 2 pounds) to the hospital because they are my all-time favorite and the one thing I was craving after 17 1/2 hours of labor. These gifts were prepared and given with me in mind.

As I've studied Ruth and this particular part of her story, the importance of people, and preparations, and invitations has been impressed upon me. It is not hard to recall a time in my life when I threw a party merely because I wanted to have fun or show off my home or just didn't want to be alone, but these days the party throwing is entirely about the people coming! They are truly our guests of honor. Meals provided to families in times of need are not just about nourishing their bodies, but their hearts and souls as well. It's about the love of Jesus Christ, and the love of one neighbor for another. I will never forget my sweet friend who brought a meal over with a note THANKING US for allowing her to serve us that way. I was inspired by that then, and am inspired by it still today.

It is easy to become bogged down with the busyness in life, but it is my desire to intentionally hit the pause button and spend time with friends and give pieces of me -- and get pieces of them -- whenever I can. Tea with a mentor, brunch with a girlfriend, lunch with a cousin, dinner with couples and their kids, holiday parties, end of summer parties... Anything to allow time for friends to get together and feed each other.

I praise God daily for the over-the-top blessings He's provided in my friends.

Schoolgirl

Things that are making me laugh today...

Mine was the only minivan in the community college parking lot this morning.

I will probably be the oldest person in my Public Speaking class on Tuesday and Thursday mornings this fall.

I wonder if I'll be older than my instructor.

I might be the only one who will have to rush from class to pick up my preschooler.

My other three classes are online. The closest I came to "online" classes in the early 90's was a class on VHS. Do today's college students even remember VHS?

At this rate, I will be a first time teacher at age 40.

Did I mention that I'm going back to college and couldn't be more excited?

Home... Sweet home

My husband took one glance at the untitled list below and said, "What? A list of everything you love about this city?" He knows me so well.

I love it here. Why?

Hydrangeas. Redbud trees. Fields of wildflowers. Freshly mowed hay. Wide open spaces. Mid-town lofts. Tudor homes. Charming downtown areas. Stone buildings. University campuses. Art museums. History museums. Fountains. Monuments. Bridges. City views. Free Friday night outdoor movies. Free summer concert series. Drive-in movies. Unexpected corn fields in the suburbs. Cattle and horses within city limits. Silos. Farm houses. Abandoned barns. Country music. Carhartt. County fairs. Carnivals. Festivals. Parades. July 4th celebrations. Christmas lights. Four seasons. Apple picking. Pumpkin patches. Sledding. Outdoor ice skating. Excellent day trips. Fireflies. Blue Birds and Cardinals. The sounds of crickets. Huge front porches. Backyard gardens. Fresh-from-the-garden tomatoes. Farmers markets. Peaches and cream corn on the cob. Parks. Climbing trees. Creeks. Bike trails. Neighborhood pools. City pools. A wonderfully uncomplicated international airport. Tornado sirens. Basements. The fact that I have heard the whistle of a train from every single home I've ever had in this wonderful city. Covered wagons and outhouses.

Oops.. Those last two are from my great-grandmother's era.

And incredibly nice, neighborly people.

We even have a ski resort and wineries ... not that we ski or drink wine. But I still think it's neat.

My home. Sweet home.

They make me laugh till I cry

Bryan: "Luke, stop that. Do you need to go to your room?"
Luke: "No... Do YOU need to go to YOUR room?"
~Jan. 12

Luke: "It's a glizzard outside!"
~Jan. 16

Leanna: "You want to join us as we sing and dance?"
Luke: "No. Maybe when I'm nine. For now, I'll just sing Thriller."
~June 15, VBS

Luke (just rolled out of bed, holding his stomach): "I feel the privilege of sickness in my brain."
~June 23

Luke (son of an electrician):  “Careful!  That will electrokill you!”

~July 8

Luke:  “I went off the cannon balling board at the pool today!”

~July 9

Luke (when asked why he woke up topless):  “I slept like a boxer.”

~July 11

Luke: “…and I pray that I won’t get sick, or hurt, or shot, or killed, or arrested…”

~July 13

Sign hanging on the boys' bedroom door .
~July 1

Zach:  "I think we picked the right dog... Apollo runs around like crazy, just like me!"
~Jan. 14

Zach:  "Luke, don't be like the guys who killed Jesus!"
~June 21

Zach (Mad Libs story):  "Here is chef Grandpa's award-flower-picking recipe for roast leg of elephant. Choose a leg weighing about two boxes. Remove excess cheese. Add 5 cloves of garlic, peeled and ripped. Season with 2 tablespoons of chopped apple. Add a tablespoon of juice. Sprinkle with a touch of flat salt. Add a pinch of ground aqua marine bag. Cook at 350 dinosaurs for 300 minutes. Remove from the oven when the skin is blue. Serve with mashed eyeballs and an ear."
~June 24

Zach:  "Without my glasses, you look like a puff ball."
~June 28

Zach (boys are playing Family Feud in the bathtub):  "Top 7 answers on the board.  Name my favorite superheroes."
~July 5

Zach (exasperated because Luke would rather color right now):  "Luke, what do you love more?  ME or a COLORING BOOK?!"
Luke:  "Coloring."
(insert whining here...)
Luke:  "Why don't we just agree to disagree?  I love you and coloring, but I want to color right now."
~July 14

July 4th celebrations

We are wild about red, white and blue.  Stars and stripes.  BBQ.  Friends.  Fireworks.  Fireflies.  And freedom.  Independence Day is certainly cause for celebration!

We had a party on Friday night with  neighbors - great food at our house, fireworks next door.  The boys "camped" after all the festivities.

The Flags for Freedom display is awesome.

We spent much of the Fourth just hanging out at home.  We enjoyed some fire-less fireworks at home, and then went out to Grandpa's after dark to let off the rest...between bouts of pouring rain.

Fourth of July...  Just marvelous!

Not Fade Away

My husband recently smirked to his cousin, "I think Tonya may be from the family of Paul."  Not the Apostle Paul...  Uncle Paul, his cousin's dad.  Paul loves to talk and loves a good story.  I can hold my own with Uncle Paul.  I love a great story!  Not so much a great "guess what ridiculous thing happened to me at the grocery store today" story, but a story about a life journey.  I will sit and listen to you talk day and night about your life's tragedies and triumphs, gains and losses, miracles, lessons learned, growth, change and evolution.  I love that stuff!

Several weeks ago I was meeting a friend at the coffee shop and she was late.  To keep myself busy, I browsed the coffee shop bookshelf for a little something to read.  The book I picked had an interesting picture on the cover and a subtitle that I love -- in fact, I can never even remember the title of the book, but the subtitle I know!

Not Fade Away - A Short Life Well Lived

I love this man's heart. 

He was diagnosed with cancer at 48 and knew that it was terminal at the age of 51.  He invited a writer into his life during his final months on earth to help him write this beautiful memoir, primarily as a gift to his wife and children. 

I have written and deleted this paragraph several times now.  I just do not know how to do this book justice with my own words.  I will certainly fail miserably.

In this book, Peter shares the heart of a cancer patient, the deep love of a husband and father, the passions and desires of a young man, the nagging fears and insecurities of a hugely successful businessman, the anguish of a young boy having lost his father in adolescence, the love of a son leaving his mother too soon.

I could barely put this book down.  I just loved it.  I was inspired to always love deeply, to share openly, to know and be known, to give more than I take, and to keep my eyes on the right prize.

This is the kind of book I want to share with friends.  Like the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.  My friend Erin will be getting it in a couple of days.  Who wants it after Erin?  It's all yours...on one condition.  You must pass it on when you're finished!

Fairies

I was putting away laundry early this morning as my husband lay sleeping in the bed directly behind me.  I was loading his t-shirts into his drawer when I thought to myself "I wonder how Bryan feels when he reaches for his t-shirt drawer expecting it to be almost completely empty, and finds that a dozen of his favorite gray t-shirts have been laundered, neatly folded and restocked in the drawer.  He must feel like we have a laundry fairy!" That made me smile.

Boy I wish we really did have a laundry fairy.

Then I realized that if I ever peeked at our checking account balance I would feel that same sort of pleasant surprise.  I have a money-depositing fairy!  You know, I've earned little more than a dime in the last seven years.

So thankful for my money-depositing fairy.  Just as I'm sure Bryan's thankful for his laundry fairy.

Sowing while weeping

A house is just a building, a structure, replaceable.  A house is also a home, holding cherished memories, representing God's provision -- not only in shelter, but all of the emotional / relational things that come with community.  When we bought this house we said, "We'll die in this house."  Seriously - we said those exact words.  It is perfect.  And...  We're not change agents.

This house is more than just walls.  When we bought it, we had no idea what we'd find here.  I didn't know that the woman living next door would become my first genuine, tell-all friend.  I had no idea that a woman I'd previously never even laid eyes on would become like a sister to me.  This was hugely healing and equipping for this girl who arrived on this block completely broken.  We did not know that we would keep hearing about this certain church, and that this certain church would become our church family.  The place where we would both get drawn into our Heavenly Father's arms and become serious followers of Jesus.  We had always planned to have children in this home, but we didn't expect to find so many mentors to help us figure out how to be parents.  Of course we'd researched the school district and anticipated sending our kids to school here, but we had no idea that we'd find such support and encouragement in our teachers, staff, and school parents.  Everything about this house...  The neighbors, friends, and surrounding community has been entirely God's provision for our lives.

We are possibly moving.

This is so totally not a done deal and will probably cause my husband to have heart palpitations if he reads what I'm writing here.  You know, putting it all out there not knowing thing one about how this will turn out.  I hope he doesn't believe in jinxing - you know, he is a former collegiate athlete.  Don't ever mention a no hitter during a baseball game.

We have no idea how this will end up.  The not knowing is difficult.  The wanting is scary, as we don't want to feel the disappointment should it not work out.  And just writing that --- that we WANT this --- is in stark contrast to where we started.  We never wanted to move.  There is weeping involved with the idea of moving.

And that brings me to the lesson...the journey that I've been on... that is really my purpose in writing.  I don't want to forget this journey.

I impulsively signed up to participate in this Siesta Summer Bible Study with a group of girls at church.  We are studying the book of Ruth.  I had never read or heard the story of Ruth, so I had no idea what I'd gotten myself into.  No clue that it was about moving, loss, sowing, weeping, reaping, God's promises, His provision, His timing.

We have been praying for so long about Bryan's job, that when this study began I felt like I didn't even know what to pray anymore.  Same stuff, different day.  I felt like I couldn't hear God - which is pretty much because we are waiting and I'm ready for an answer. 

Then I hit day 7 of the study.  "How can you sow in your weeping?"  Since my weeping comes from the waiting and not knowing (and worrying about money and expiring health insurance, that sort of worldly stuff) I asked myself "How can I sow in my waiting?"  What a different perspective!

Leaving this home - this community - is unquestionably sad, so I have chosen to pray that God would prepare my heart for whatever comes.  I am asking God to give me new eyes to see His plan and release my desires to say here in my "perfection", or my desire to move into a bigger house that's "better", or my wish to be in only the "best" of neighborhoods.  I am asking God to give me a heart to become a sower in this next season, allowing others to receive from me the immeasurable greatness I have received over these last 8 1/2 years.  I am asking God to use me.  Where He leads, I will follow.  Like we tell our children about tithing - I will give (all of me) joyfully.  It is my heart's desire to sow while I weep, and not just sit and weep.

I am excited to see where He leads.

"Restore our fortunes, Lord, as the streams renew the desert.  Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy.  They weep as they plant their seed, but they sing as they return with harvest."  Psalm 126:4-6

I am reminded once again of Esther 4:14.  "For just such a time as this."  Perhaps our time in this house is nearing its end - perhaps not.  The footnotes in my Bible are beautiful:  "When you face a challenge in life, seek to know what God wants you to do, and then do it, confident that He will do his part.  You don't know ahead of time how He will accomplish His will.  Trust God and prepare to be surprised by the way he demonstrates his trustworthiness."

So excited to see how He demonstrates his trustworthiness!

Team Shrader

When Zach was little, I was co-leader of our church's MOPS group for two years.  There are about 14 women who make up the leadership team, and my role was to encourage and equip the leaders in their role, while also setting the vision for our MOPS group as a whole.  Part of "equipping" our leaders was encouraging them to establish teams of volunteer moms to help with their area.  Delegation was hard for most of our leaders, particularly because each leader had to take the time to teach someone else how to do whatever needed done.  It was just easier to do it themselves, but in the long run....doing the work all alone was taxing and very time consuming.  Teams can just make everything easier - but becoming a team is work in and of itself.

I have found - and am being reminded of it all day every day - that this is true with a family.  My oldest is approaching his 7th birthday and doesn't have any specific job that is his responsibility.  He helps clean up his spaces - so long as I hover over him and tell him specifically what to do.  He carries his dishes from the table to the sink - but frequently needs to be reminded to do it.  He helps carry out the trash on Wednesday nights, but that is always closely supervised as well.

We have always believed that each family member has a responsibility to help care for the household, but I've been very slow in implementing what I believe to be vitally important.  Before I go any further, let me clarify that...  It is not vitally important for the sake of my workload lightening!  It is vitally important that my children learn how to care for their belongings.  That they understand that everything we have has been given to us by God and we need to show Him how much we appreciate his provision by taking care it it.  That the kids realize that they are showing their parents respect when they pick up after themselves rather than expecting us to do it.  That having a clean home means that our guests will not only be welcome at any moment, but that we care enough about them to make them feel welcome by having clean spaces.  That one day, their spouses will adore being "Team Shrader" with their husband, rather than waiting hand and foot on a man who never learned how to clear the dinner table or put away his laundry.

As tasks need to be done, I take a moment and ask myself two questions:  Is this mess directly related to one of the children?  (Are those Luke's shoes in the middle of the floor?) And, Is this something one of the boys can or should be helping with?  If I determine it to be a job that one of the boys can do, I invite them over to help.  I will be honest - teaching them is a real test of my patience.  (And I have to set aside any desire for perfection!!)  Zachary is super intelligent (and almost 7) so I have to keep my emotions in check as I hold his hand through hanging a towel or rinsing a dish.  I have to remind myself:  "It is not his fault that he doesn't know this.  You taught him how to eat, how to read, how to multiply...you have to teach him this too...it is not a do-it-with-one-hand-tied-behind-his-back sort of thing...yet."

The boys have been very cooperative and even eager to learn new tasks around the house.  However, they do keep referring to it as "cleaning the house".  I correct them.  I've adopted a new attitude!  Cleaning involves chemicals or dust...the rest is merely picking up after yourself.

A fish and a shark

We're at the pool most days during the summer.  Zachary is turning into a full fledged shark in the pool, while Luke is quickly morphing into a fish -- shedding his swim vest that he just started wearing a matter of weeks ago.

Zach's dive is more of a belly flop, while Luke's is more of a jump with his hands over his head.

Zach loves to swim, most of all under water.  And who doesn't love to do handstands?

Today we played a mean game of shark tag.  It was a favorite game from my childhood, so you can imagine what a blast it was to teach it to my boys.  Think kick the can.  I'll have to teach them that next!

I love summer.