Thursday, March 31, 2011

I'm sure it's nothing, but...

I feel really nervous.  Luke has a doctor's appointment in 75 minutes.  In all honesty, I don't believe anything is actually wrong.  My gut tells me that his frequent and urgent urination is behavioral, but as I noticed it getting progressively more severe, I decided to make an appointment with his pediatrician to know for sure that it's nothing serious.  In the ten minutes that I was on the phone making that appointment, he used the restroom three times.  And suddenly I felt he urgently needed to be seen and we had two days to wait.

Now that the appointment is nearing, the what-ifs are running through my mind.  I hate what-ifs.  I've prayed through it and I completely trust God in this matter.  I know we will be fine - and I don't even really believe he's sick - but the mere possibility that my son's life may not be easy-breezy is no fun for Mom.

This child -- my Luke -- manages to come up with a really good mystery diagnosis about once a year.  We've never had anything remotely peculiar with Zachary...  He had pneumonia once, but it was easily diagnosed and treated.  Not so much with Luke...  Stinker.

So, Luke...  When you're my age and reading through this (because I know Dad will have it printed for me as a Christmas gift), know that no matter how many times you've dragged me to the doctor or hospital, it hasn't gotten any easier.  In the 8 years and 3 months since I first had a child growing in my womb, I have wandered through each day with my heart on the outside of my body.  I pray that you will one day know this feeling (and I don't mean as payback).  I love you, young man.


Update:  Luke is perfectly fine.  We ruled out diabetes and infection with a simple urinalysis - which is exactly what I needed to hear.  We put him in pull-ups again at night, figuring he was just trying to avoid a nighttime accident (he'd had two).  He's still dry every night, but going back into pull-ups seems to have freed his mind of worry....and obsession with using the restroom every ten minutes all day!  We'll wean him off the pull-ups another day.

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