Birthday weekend

The lap-a-thon was "the best birthday present ever".  At the Homecoming parade, he "screamed his head off and got a lot of candy".  He had a great time sitting with his friend Derek at the Homecoming game.  Scored his first soccer goal of the season on his birthday - and followed it up with the declaration that "THIS IS THE BEST BIRTHDAY OF MY WHOLE LIFE!"  He had a family party, complete with trick candles and gifts that he'd "been wanting forever".

And he doesn't know this yet....but we have an awesome surprise for today!  This might even trump the soccer goal (but I hope not - that goal was supremely perfect).

Next weekend he will have some school friends over for a Minute to Win It party.  Can't wait.

Happy SEVENTH birthday, Zachary.  We love you so very much.  As your brother would say, "We love you as big as Paul Bunyan.  Or as big as God's feet.  Or all the way to Heaven and back."  You have taught us and grown us in ways that we never anticipated.  We are so proud of who you are - an honest, loving, generous, thoughtful, fun, happy, outgoing, friendly, hardworking, tender yet deliriously enthusiastic young man.  You are a treasure.

I {heart} birthday books...and sweet little friends

Instead of birthday presents, I'd like to suggest that my husband and kids rope all of my friends into making me a "birthday book" for all future birthdays.  They do this in grade school.  Zach's 7th birthday was celebrated with his class today.  His friends made him a GREAT birthday book.  A lot of what they wrote makes me oooh, aww, and laugh out loud.  Who doesn't want that  for their birthday?

Some of the great things in Zach's birthday book:

Today is my birthday!  If I could have anything in the world, I would choose "sume frends and a vary good brthday" - Zach

Dear Zach, If I could give you anything in the world, I would choose:

"I wud giv you a cat, because I like you." - Mason
"I would give you hot wels, because you ar amazing." - Caleb
"I will git him a Dee S Iy and biyenicle, because I like you." - Derek
"I would get you a DS, because you are my friend." - Lauren
"I would get you a bat made out of silver and gold and the color of orange, red, and yellow, because you are my friend." - Katie S.
"I will give you a Minit To Win It theeng, because you invited me to your bierthday." - Evan

Mason, I hope you check with your parents before giving live animals as gifts....but how SWEET that you would want everyone you like to have a cat.  Caleb, I agree - he is amazing.  But what 1st grader refers to their friends as amazing?  Caleb is amazing.  Derek, you are insanely generous.  I'm guessing he doesn't understand the value of a dollar just yet.  Lauren, you are a treasured friend.  Katie S., I love you - the detailed description is AWESOME!  Evan, you know exactly what my boy likes.  All he wants is that Minute to Win It birthday with his buddies.  A Minute to Win It "theeng" would be perfect.

Speech

I wish I'd had a tape recorder or video camera today.  I briefly shared my story of an abusive childhood and precious recovery with my Public Speaking class.  I wasn't at all nervous or worried about what to say...but the time passed so quickly that it's all a blur to me.  I could see that nearly the entire class was on the edge of their seats listening, all of the feedback was positive, my professor forgot that he was supposed to be watching my delivery (in order to give me a grade), and there were several people who thanked me for sharing.  No one got up and left.  No rotten tomatoes were thrown.  But I just don't remember what I said, how I said it, or even what the audience perceived as the point.

I hope they heard the message that there is always hope.  God is faithful to redeem.  Peace and restoration are within reach for everyone.  There is no time like the present to begin dealing with a painful past.  The "better than my parents" bar can be set tragically low for too many people, and therefore shouldn't be a goal for any of us.  Healing, wholeness and completion should be the heart's desire for each of us.  A full, happy life is not limited to "some" of us and not "others".

It was not possible for me to deliver 36+ years of life experience and lessons into a 15 minute speech, so I'm trusting that God delivered the right message for the right people this morning.  Jesus replied, "What is impossible with men is possible with God."  Luke 18:27

Soccer's in full swing

Zach's soccer team is playing U7 this year - on a much larger field, 4 on 4 with an 8 man team, no coaches allowed on the field, and an official referee.  We're big time.  We still don't keep an official score, and we don't use a goalie.  We've had a fun time learning the new rules for U7, and each of the boys shows enthusiasm and growth with every practice and game.  Half of our team is brand new, so we've had a wonderful time making new friends!

 

The Rockets first goal.  Not pictured - the kid who actually made the goal, Derek!

Cousins.  Both number 5.

Dance party

A favorite activity right now is the basement dance party...  With Halloween on the horizon, we've been dancing to last year's Halloween music that played on our front porch - Monster Mash, Werewolfves of London, Purple People Eater, Thriller, and Ghost Busters.

Busting ghosts

Centipede

Rockin' out

Look who's riding now

School

These days we seem to be almost entirely consumed by learning.  Zach is in school full time, Luke and I are in class on T/Th mornings, and I am taking three other college classes online.  Plus, Bryan is in a men's Bible study on Sunday nights, I'm in a co-ed group on Tuesday nights, and I'm leading a women's group on Wednesday nights.  Phew!  That is a lot of running around, reading and studying for us!  We are generally more of a mellow, hang around-the-house kind of family.  I do not know how or when we morphed into this family running in many directions...and loving it.  Perhaps it just comes with growing children?

I have figured out my study routine and understand what my professors expect.  I'd say I'm in a groove.  I generally read my PE Strategies on Sunday and turn in class work on Monday, read my American Government on Monday and Tuesday, do my Government assignment on Tuesday and another on Wednesday, read my Psychology on Wednesday and Thursday, doing whatever classwork on Thursday and taking my Psychology tests on Fridays.  Repeat week after week...throwing in preparation for speeches, every-other-week Government tests on Fridays, and eventually a midterm and final for PE Strategies.  Wow.  The semester just flew by!

I can hardly believe it...  I am making straight A's.  And not barely A's, but 98% or higher in all classes.  If I had known then what I know now, I would have done so much better at school.  I haven't had straight A's since 6th grade.

I had no idea in June that I would ever return to college, let alone go back when Luke was still so young.  But the timing was just right.  I have a full scholarship for my community college classes, and I am also the recipient of a Pell Grant due to our family's extended lay-off.  We are overwhelmed by how my return to college transpired.  I am so, so grateful for this second chance.  This is such a precious gift.

Genesis 50:20

One trade off of returning to college this semester was that it wouldn't leave time for me to lead a sexual abuse recovery support group.  I didn't even have to think about the decision to lead or not to lead because it was so completely obvious that I wasn't being called to lead a group right now.

Then my Public Speaking class started.

My teacher slips life lessons into his lectures every single day - most of them themed along the fact that how we talk often conveys "where we've been in life".  Where we've lived, how we've lived, what we've lived through, level of education, financial status...the list goes on.  The lessons are always accompanied with indirect encouragement and the God's honest truth that not one of us is limited by whatever difficulty we are facing.  I marvel at his heart for these kids and his uncanny ability (and willingness) to meet them where they are at in order to help them get to where they want to go.  So many of these kids have high aspirations that can easily become dwarfed by the challenges they are facing.

I knew from day one that I wanted to give a speech or two on something related to sexual abuse.  As I have been watching my teacher in class, I have diligently tried to piece together my first speech.  He has asked for volunteers to go first for the past two classes, and not a single hand has been raised.  After class the other day I went to talk with him.  I was having difficulty narrowing down the information and my heart to a single 5-7 minute speech.  Then he asked me to do something that still has my head spinning...

He wants to give me 10-15 minutes per speech, and he has asked me to give every speech this semester on the topic of sexual abuse.

I can hardly believe it!

I have mulled over my first speech quite a bit and have decided that rather than jump in with a bunch of abuse prevention information (for an informative speech), I would start by sharing my story.  Pinch me.  I get to talk with them about my own experience with poverty, a broken home, an absent birth father, a sexually abusive adopted father, a neglectful mother, feeling orphaned at 18, dropping out of college due to overwhelming loneliness and confusion, utter helplessness and paralyzing insecurity, underage and reckless drinking, destroyed relationships, countless unwise decisions that I regret to this day --- all as a result of unaddressed brokenness.  And I get to share the healing that takes place in a solid, loving relationship, with unwavering sobriety and careful attention to other unhealthy coping mechanisms, an unimaginable community of friends, and an honorable heavenly father who fills every hole left behind by not-so-honorable earthly beings.  The purpose of this speech is to persuade them to address past hurts sooner rather than later, saving precious time and allowing life to be restored to them.

Seriously?  I get to do this?  In a college classroom?  And after that, I get to talk about ways to keeps kids safe! 

God is good.  All the time.

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives."  Genesis 50:20

Our week in pictures

Looks to me like this was taken with night vision goggles...  I think it's funny.  And an entirely accurate picture of nearly every day of my life somewhere between 3am and 7am.  Luke shows up and eventually gets himself situated across our bed.  And my neck!

This is what it looked like as I settled into my studies yesterday afternoon.  Wishing that was a huge bowl of almonds instead of animal crackers, but I had to settle for what was available.

Luke started preschool on Tuesday.  Normally the life of every party, this was his day to quietly take everything in.  Some kids join in the singing and dancing upon arrival - mine don't.

And fall soccer started yesterday.  What we lack in years of experience, we make up for in enthusiasm and fabulous uniforms.  I heard someone say they saw us as they flew over in their jumbo jet.

Real

I'm finishing my Gen Ed requirements at a local urban community college.  Initially I'd planned to go to the community college in the county in which I live, but ... since I will be doing my student teaching in the urban district, and I would like to volunteer with youth (outside of teaching) in that same urban district and possibly even teach elementary school there, I felt that the urban school was the perfect place to dive in sooner rather than later.  And, honestly, I couldn't be happier.  I feel older (not old, but certainly older!), but I feel entirely at home.

I have one class on campus and three online.  My class on campus is Public Speaking, and Tuesday and Thursday of this week were spent listening to each student give a short speech introducing themselves.  I'd expected the speeches would cover name, age, high school, hobbies, interests, career aspirations, jobs, that sort of thing.  I was shocked to hear these kids sharing so openly about growing up in extreme poverty, childhood abuse, severely fractured families, violence in their neighborhoods, teenage pregnancies, abandonment, the difficulties and joys of single parenting, etc.  Their honesty and vulnerability shocked me.

I lived a youth similar to many of theirs, but I would never have talked so openly about it at their age.  Perhaps one difference is that my high school drew kids from all over the district - some living in extreme poverty and utter brokenness, others fairly wealthy and well put together - so we kept our private lives private out of insecurity and fear of others reactions.  You could could it discretion - and discretion is a good thing - but I couldn't help admire how these kids were able to be real about who they are and where they've been.

Most of these kids graduated from the same school; growing up in the same neighborhoods, knowing the exact same brokenness of home and community...  Perhaps that fosters an environment where one can openly talk about what they're living.  Sort of  a live-in support group.  It is very interesting.

I am so glad I decided to dive in to an urban school now.  I love it there.

Baseball and sneezes

As I studied in the corner of the living room yesterday, I had the pleasure of watching Zach watch baseball on TV with his dad.  This is a first; or maybe a second.  Zach's not really into watching sports on TV, and his dad loves sports.  All sports.  But especially baseball.  Bryan played college baseball and had dreams of coaching little league as each of our sonograms indicated a baby boy.

Then came the boys, each with their unique personalities, interests and abilities.  Zachary tried t-ball and a few basketball clinics as a preschooler, before we threw in the towel and decided to wait entirely for his prompting.  He really wasn't into team sports...  Then came soccer and the discovery of Zach's confidence, and love of physical activity, game rules, strategy, and camaraderie of the team. 

And yesterday a baseball game on TV piqued his interest.  I listened as Zach was wowed by the pitcher, noting aloud the 89 mph speed he saw flashed on the screen.  Father and son chatted about Daddy's days as a pitcher, some of his glorious plays, pitching style and Major League speed.  Zach was impressed.  Until he remembered that a person sneezes at 100 mph, so a ball thrown at 89 mph was really not all that impressive.

Zachary warms my heart.  His mind is so simple and vastly complex at the same time. 

I am so happy for Bryan to have had that lovely father son moment of watching a ballgame together.  And I wonder...  Will this child of ours play baseball?  Will he be more interested in analyzing sneezes and other scientific matters?  Will he do a combination of both or neither? 

Raising this child is entirely my honor and privilege...and my entertainment.

Busy mornings

I'm already overwhelmed by our morning schedule.  It's only been three days of having to be at school by 8:50am (can drop off as early as 8:35) and I'm already not loving the early'ness.  I had to wake Zach up yesterday - that is not normal.  When I went to get him at 7:55am, he said "But I'm so tired."  When I said, "But, Honey, it's almost at 8 o'clock." he shot out of bed.  Thankfully.  He showered, dressed and ate in record time, but I had to stay on him to keep him focused.  I never enjoy that - feels like nagging.  Can we go back to starting school at 12:50?  Or even 10am?

And starting tomorrow...it will no longer be just Zachary that needs to be out the door.  I start school on Thursday morning.  And Luke next Tuesday.  Plus I've got three other online classes that I need to be disciplined enough for on my off-campus days.

I just remembered...we have the dog.  Gotta make sure he gets out, fed and watered, loved on a little and back into his kennel before we leave.

This is going to be a crazy ride.

My prayer for teachers

Every summer I pray a lot for the teachers at my boys' schools.  Having grown up in a {secretly} abusive home, I personally know the value of a loving teacher who provides a safe and encouraging place for kids.  My teachers {at school and church...and my amazing Girl Scout leaders} were my lifeline as a young girl...and most of them had no idea.  

I pray that our teachers will have the wisdom and equipping to reach every single child where they are at.  That they will be that perfect mixture of loving, flexible and firm.  That they will go the extra mile to teach the kids what is needed beyond academics.  That they will have eyes to see beyond the challenging behavior and instead see the heart and potential of these little people.  And, of course, that at every {difficult} turn they will advocate for the needs of those who don't have a voice.  Sadly, we are in every school worldwide.

When I was a student, I was a girl without a voice.  I didn't know how to say thank you or even acknowledge their kindness...but I vividly remember many specific moments that changed my life.  The first male teacher who didn't lay a hand on me and instead laid the foundation of my restored view of men.  The first woman who told me that I could do anything and actually believed it for me.  The school counselor who told me that I was "responsible for my day"...that an abusive childhood did not have to define me.  The man who said he loved how I "lit up like a Christmas tree" when I figured something out.  The man who occasionally "loaned" me lunch money; however, never asked for my repayment.  As a woman, it is their encouragement and kindness that rings louder than all of the discouragement combined.

God bless our teachers.  Theirs is a tall order...and a vital part of most American lives.  Continued prayers for our teachers worldwide throughout the 2010-2011 school year.  May you have an impact beyond anything you could imagine.  You have blessed my life so richly.

Milestones

The first of our August 2010 milestones passed yesterday.  Zach is officially a first grader.  The kids started school on a Friday.  Some were perplexed by this, but these first time all-day-school parents are relieved to have the weekend to recoup.  The day - and days leading up to it - were emotion-filled, to say the least.

Every day this week, Zach would get up and look at the calendar and announce how many days were left before the big day.  There was much excitement over Back to School Night on Wednesday - meeting his new teacher, discovering whose class all his friends were in, locating his first-ever locker, sitting in his desk and finding out that he will start this new year off sitting right beside the little girl who lived next door to us for so many years.

Thursday night he declared that he "was so excited that he couldn't stop moving!"  This was at 6:30pm.  At 8:30pm we were settling into pj's and prayer, when Zach asked me to pray about a lot of things having to do with school.  As I was wrapping up, he added "and pray that I won't cry all the way home because I missed you guys so much."  His sweet eyes turned red and welled up with tears...and he asked if we could all sleep together.  We prayed some more and I reassured him that we would all be great and that school was going to be an absolute blast that he should enjoy, knowing that we are eagerly waiting for him at home.

He practically skipped into school and had a wonderful day.

That is, till he recounted indoor recess (due to excessive heat) and realized that he had not been picked during a game of Heads Up 7-Up.  He bowed his head, started to cry, and declared that "the first day of every grade sucks!"  It was so sad, I thought Bryan was going to cry.  Bryan had missed Zach all day and to see his boy crying over a recess game (and knowing that he sat in a classroom for seven hours with only one other boy from last year's kindergarten class...missing his buddies that he'd hoped to be in class with again this year) just broke his (our) heart.  Thankfully this outburst was over almost as quickly as it came on.  A little while later, he was replaying his entire day with sincere happiness and excitement.  He is going to love 1st grade.

Next week, Mom's up.  Returning to college at 36...in a minivan.