Tuesday, May 12, 2009

How am I doing?

Bryan has worked a rather overwhelming schedule since late January and there have been times (more than I care to admit) that I haven't handled it well. Just the other day I was thinking about all the "sacrifices" I've made in the name of motherhood. I'd even thought about blogging about them, justifying the idea by telling myself that I would only be writing down what every other mom thinks but doesn't dare to say out loud. (I'd be giving moms everywhere a voice - a good thing, right?!) My wiser inner voice knew that I would be doing nothing more than venting, complaining, perpetuating my frustration and even seeking others validation, while insulting my husband and crushing my children. I did not breathe a word to anyone other than Bryan (I owe him a serious apology) and then I came across this incredible post on another blog this afternoon.

Two statements in particular spoke to me (hit me like a ton of bricks, actually)... "If anything, it (motherhood) is the time when it becomes even more important to keep growing so we have life to share with our children and life to breathe into our spouse." Ouch! I have not done well at all recently at breathing life into my spouse, as my focus has been on all that I am doing and what I need.

"We are the image bearers of the Almighty God." I am well aware of this when it comes to how I treat friends and strangers, but I have let it go almost completely when it comes to my marriage. As much as I hate to admit it, I've taken to keeping score and of course I've got myself way ahead of Bryan. I am reminded right now of a tool one of my former Bible study teachers shared with our class... God is love, so in order to get to know God we can substitute the word "love" with "God" in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a.

"God is patient, God is kind. God does not envy, He does not boast, He is not proud. He is not rude, He is not self-seeking, He is not easily angered, He keeps no record of wrongs. God does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. God always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. God never fails."

As the image bearer of God, I have to ask myself... "How am I doing?" I have never met JMom and most likely never will, but her posts frequently serve to encourage and challenge me. Thank you to JMom for this post and the new perspective I have. I think my husband will have a better day tomorrow. (And possibly an appreciation for my "blog-o-mania" as he calls it!)

1 comment:

JMom said...

Tonya- I am so glad to read I am not the only one who blows it! :-) You are a good woman to know when to admit it and move forward. Your family is so blessed to have you!!
Grace, my internet friend, grace...